Dora Gilreath is the communications assistant at Good Dads. She joined the team in 2024 and has a Bachelor’s degree in journalism and a minor in creative writing at Missouri State University. She loves reading, writing and anything related to theater.
Andre Adams
“I’m the same person, but I’m better,” said New Pathways Dad Andre Adams, of the growth he experienced while attending Good Dads classes. “I used to have anger problems, and I could never put my feelings into words. With this program, I was able to step back and accept accountability for things I did and learned to forgive.”
Andre, who lives in the Kansas City, MO, area, admitted that before Good Dads, he was in a dark place.
“I was depressed,” he said. “I lost faith. I went days without eating. I cried so many nights.”
The father of three’s journey is similar to many other fathers in the New Pathways for Good Dads program. As his two daughters grew, he saw them less and less frequently. His symptoms of depression to become more prominent. Andre wanted his youngest son to meet his two teenage daughters, but the strained relationship between himself and the mother of his daughters made it difficult.
“All the things we go through should be between parents, not the kids,” he said. “Kids shouldn’t be put in adult situations, then they’re forced to grow up. They shouldn’t need to be worried about what Daddy and Mommy got going—they should just be kids.”
When his girlfriend, Courtnie, found out about Good Dads, she convinced him to sign up for classes. According to Andre, the reason she fell in love with him in the first place was because he was such a good dad, but they both knew he still had lots of growing to do in his fatherhood journey.
Andre described his recognition that his life needed to change as “facing the man in the mirror.” He was determined not to let life’s challenges define him. Taking accountability and recognizing the need to make changes was difficult but necessary.
“In order to make change, you have to put that first foot forward and accept accountability and know what needs to change,” Andre said. “I was tired of being angry, of being labeled a hothead. I’m done pointing fingers, I’m accepting accountability, a plan of action to move forward.”
Andre stressed that one of the most important lessons he learned during the Good Dads courses was the value of communication and getting things off his chest.
“I don’t have to hoot and holler,” he said. “I can communicate and get everything across.”
Healthy communication is a crucial fatherhood skill, especially with the mother of your children. After completing the New Pathways for Good Dads program, Andre feels confident he has the tools he needs to have more civil conversations with the mother of his daughters.
“I’m ready to sit down, come together as one and have an adult conversation,” he said. “No name calling, pointing fingers, or ‘you did this.’ Apologize, take accountability, then grow. Keep pointing fingers, nothing’s ever going to get resolved. I want (my daughters) to be able to say, ‘my mom and dad put differences aside, and they came together for us.’”
Andre said that through Good Dads, the connections and support system he built with fellow fathers helped him gain a more positive outlook—and changed his relationship with his personal faith. He said that, during his renewed effort to focus on being a good dad, it was helpful to know that he wasn’t alone on his journey.
“With this program, it’s nice to fellowship with other men going through the same thing, regardless of background and ethnicity,” he said. “Everybody there is trying to be a better dad. They pulled me closer to God and helped me renew my faith.”
Another aspect of the program Andre enjoyed—and one he says he uses in his everyday life —are his new strategies for coping with anger. He said that in the past, once he became mad about something, the anger would last the rest of the day. He kept those feelings to himself, causing them to fester and turn into aggression. His class facilitators and his fellow fathers in his cohort helped provide him advice and alternatives for coping with his anger.
“When things get heated, instead of me falling back by ‘matching fire for fire,’ I take a time-out,” he said. “Let your partner or others know that right now, it’s hot. Take ten minutes, then pick it back up.”
Andre said Good Dads “gives you the tools to become a better person.”
The classes allowed him to analyze his flaws and focus on key areas of improvement. Coping mechanisms, such as prayer, meditation and writing, have prevented him from harboring anger.
“I want to be a man of God, be the man my kids can smile at and say, ‘That’s my Daddy.’”
Andre pointed to the Speaker Listener Technique as one of the most impactful lessons in the program. When things get heated, Andre says it’s a good method of understanding where each person is coming from and how they feel.
“If two people are arguing and they’re both yelling, who’s listening?” Andre said. “Now, I’m able to meditate, release my frustration in a positive way, channel energy into something else instead of going down the road of ‘baby mama drama.’ Nothing good comes with that, I don’t want that.”
Andre said Within My Reach, Prep’s healthy relationships course, helped him with communication, specifically the ability to vent his frustrations without losing control, or with a “calm spirit.”
“When I talk, you can hear the changes,” he said. “A lot of men are scared to open up and be vulnerable. Get over the fear; there’s nothing wrong with being vulnerable. I let my guard down to let someone in to help me.”
For Andre, fatherhood is more than just a word. Being a father involves early mornings and late nights, good days and bad days, times where you’re happy and times where you don’t know what to do. It involves making sure your family is okay, both physically and mentally. Fatherhood means the world to Andre, despite (or because of) the many challenges.
“You have to be able to roll with the punches,” he said. “A father never gives up; he’s always going to be there, physically or spiritually. Anyone can be a dad, but it takes a real one to be a father,” he said.
Dads play an important role in the lives of children. Andre’s late father served as an example of what being a good dad looks like.
“To love your child, provide and put clothes on him and be there for him at his lowest. That right there is a father,” he said. “Dads give structure; dads show you how to hold yourself when you’re in a tight situation. Dads are your number one cheerleader, they’re always going to root for you, no matter what. Dad’s gonna show you that no matter what you face, you’ll get through it.”
Andre has completed both the Within My Reach and Good Dads 2.0 courses and recently started a new job at Smithfield Foods. Andre is eligible to graduate at the next New Pathways graduation ceremony on June 12, 2025. He wants to continue being a good dad by following his faith traditions and by helping others.
“I’m going to be the advocate to show people that no matter what your situation is, even when your situation looks grim, if you keep your faith, keep your drive, you can change any situation you’re in,” he said. “Know you’ll be able to change.”