Jeremy Kitchingham

The job of a Good Dads facilitator isn’t easy, but for Jeremy Kitchingham, he sees it as a way to make a difference in the lives of dads in need.

Residing in Joplin, Missouri his entire life, Jeremy was the first Good Dads facilitator in the Joplin area. Ironically enough, Jeremy first heard about the nonprofit from women, including his wife, Renita. Leaders in the Joplin area were looking for facilitators for the program, and Renita thought Jeremy would get a lot out of this volunteerism opportunity, Jeremy said. In 2020, Jeremy took the leap: He came to Springfield to attend facilitator training. The rest is history.

Jeremy started facilitating right in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic. “It was challenging, but we did it,” he said.

Jeremy said that the decision to become a Good Dads facilitator came from a space of empathy. He said he faced “struggles with getting my own children, child support, and just being a dad” in his own journey.

“I’m a recovering addict,” he said. “I tell all of our guys ‘I wish I had Good Dads.’ I had many struggles and many challenges to get back in my kids’ lives and have any say. I fought six years in court to have custody of my youngest son … The Good Lord was with me, but I wish I had Good Dads at the time.”

Growing up in a poor home raised by his grandparents, he said he never really wanted to live. He said he used his first illegal drug when he was nine.

“I grew up around depression,” Jeremy said. “It pushed me towards addiction and the criminal element. I wanted to fit in and be a part of something.”

For Jeremy and for many people who have a history of addiction, life was tough. His relationships suffered. He felt lost and hopeless.

“My first marriage was destroyed,” he said. “It affected my oldest children. When you’re down as low as I was, it’s not a good place. The emotional and mental pain that goes with that—I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemies. And then you wake up one day and realize it was all your fault.”

After many years of addiction, Jeremy was ready for a life change.

August 12, 2006, is Jeremy’s clean date. He says he owes a lot to where he is today to the grace of God. Faith has been an integral part of Jeremy’s journey, describing it as his “everything.”

“(In) my prayer to God on the day I got straight, I (told Him) wanted to help others,” he said. “My faith is what has turned my life around. It gave me a life and gave me a reason to live. I realized when I got clean that God always had a plan for me. I had finally arrived and accomplished something in my life.”

As part of his recovery journey, Jeremy was the associate pastor for 15 years, where he started to share his story.

“I tell people all the time that the gift of Jesus cost me everything—but it was the best thing that ever happened to me,” Jeremy said. “It gave me something solid to build my life on. I have a really good marriage right now.”

Now, Jeremy and Renita both facilitate Good Dads classes in Joplin, the first two Good Dads facilitators in the area. He said Good Dads was alluring to him because he wanted to be a “detour.” That is, he wanted to convince struggling fathers that there is more to life than addiction. He wanted to share his story with dads, to show them something that would make them want to do better.

He said he wants to “prevent people from being where I was.”

Jeremy’s favorite aspect of the Good Dads program is his power to give hope to the hopeless.

“I’ve seen hope grow and overflow out of many people in Good Dads,” he said. “With society and everything else, it seems like so much. Good Dads gives these guys an opportunity to have a fighting chance.”

Jeremy currently has a good situation with his family, but that doesn’t mean it’s always been easy.

“I’ve had a few struggles with older children with resentment,” he admitted, “but we’ve grown through them. I was accountable when it came to my past and my actions.”

Now, Jeremy says he’s “living the dream” when it comes to his family. With a blended family of seven children and six grandchildren, there’s never a dull moment.

“I never dreamed that my life could be so fulfilled,” he said with joy in his voice. “They are my life. Good Dads is the only ministry (work) that I do anymore because (now) I focus more on my family. They are just such a gift. It is the opportunity to learn how to love better and to continue to grow in our faith.”

As a father, Jeremy says he’s like the glue keeping his family together.

“I’m the one that makes sure we all get along,” he said. “(I) help them grow and learn and give them a place of comfort and peace.”

Family doesn’t necessarily have to do with the people you’re related to, but the support system you have for yourself. Jeremy’s support system consists of several local ministers and mentors and sponsors from 12-step groups.

“Having those things are essential in your life,” Jeremy said, attributing much of his success to his faith and other leaders in his faith community. “Being around other men of faith is key. I’ve been fortunate on my journey that I’ve met people along the way that are friendships and brotherhoods—a tribe so to speak. We look out for each other. A lot of those men in the ministry have become my family. I started out as their mentor and now they look out for me.”

Jeremy says one of the best things about the Good Dads program is seeing men’s transformations. He said there’s a “realization that they have a choice all along.”

He admitted the program, which consists of 6 months of classes, meetings with case workers, career development and more, can be overwhelming for a lot of men. But in his experience, once Good Dads steps in to help teach fathers important skills, those dads tend to see the whole world differently.

“They feel empowered,” Jeremy said.

To fathers out there who are struggling, Jeremy said: “Don’t let the barriers stop you; you just have to keep going. Follow your heart and keep going, whatever that looks like. Keep educating yourself on what you need to do next. That’s what I had to do, I had to educate myself on all of it.”

Another important piece of advice Jeremy had was to “never miss the opportunities to see your children, and when possible, be consistent with everything.”

He suggested having time set aside for a family dinner, which is what he does with his family. “To this day, we still do it.”

Jeremy is overall thankful for the people that are behind Good Dads and to his faith. It’s been an uphill battle, but he’s still thankful.

“Be the change you want to see in your community,” Jeremy said.

About the Author