Kyle Friend

Rebuilding your life after being in prison is a challenge that Kyle Friend is no stranger to. Kyle describes his life’s conditions at the time of his release as rough and chaotic.

“I didn’t really have what felt like my family in life,” Kyle admitted.

Kyle knew that he didn’t want to return to the way things were before prison—struggling with addiction. He had a desire to become a better man and father for his family, and he decided to chase that ambition.

“I could have gone back to where I’m from (Carl Junction),” he said. “Instead, I chose to go the other route—go the hard route. Come to Springfield to try and rebuild my life.”

The route Kyle took wasn’t free from challenges. For one thing, he couldn’t drive, so he had to rely on public transport.

Kyle says he owes much of his success to the Springfield Recovery Community Center (New Beginning Sanctuary). After joining the recovery program, he was able to establish a routine by attending church regularly and obtaining employment at SMC Packaging, a job he’s now had for five years.

“I stayed away from old friends, stayed working … and stayed clean,” he said.

While participating in SRCC’s recovery program, he learned about Good Dads. As a father of three, Kyle knew he had a lot to learn during his journey.

“I didn’t know how to be a dad,” he admitted. “I had an image of what dads did. I wanted to learn how to be a dad and what a dad looks like.”

Kyle thought that Good Dads was a step in the right direction for reaching his goals. He knew he wanted to be someone his kids could look up to, and that Good Dads might help. He asked questions and learned a lot from the New Pathways for Good Dads program, but one lesson that stood out to him was learning that not every child is the same.

“What you try on one kid might not work great on another,” he said, an important lesson to remember for fathers of multiple children.

Fatherhood means the world to Kyle, he said, and as a dad, he tries to lead by example.

“We’re supposed to better the world, and it starts with our kids,” Kyle said. “My ultimate goal is to build a life where my kids don’t do what I did: break the chains my family has. I want to learn to be a man my kids can follow.”

Kyle said it’s important for dads to remember that your kids are keen observers and will often see you as an example. He recalled an instance of this when he and his son were washing their hands in the bathroom. The way Kyle washed his hands; his son copied his exact motions. It made him realize that your kids are always watching.

“Dads are important because our kids idolize us, good or bad,” Kyle said. “Kids want to be like their dad, so if we paint a bad picture, kids will often follow that.”

New Pathways for Good Dads equips at-risk fathers with the tools they need to overcome fatherhood hurdles, including child support problems. Even though by this time Kyle was working full-time at SMC Packaging, he was still struggling with paying his arrears (the child support total that had accumulated during his incarceration).

“When a guy gets out of prison and is trying to rebuild his life and they take half his money, that’s challenging,” he admitted.

That’s where Good Dads could help. Good Dads does not dissolve past-due support, and we want fathers to pay everything they owe to their child support cases. However, our program leaders work with the Missouri Family Support Division to temporarily lower the amount owed per month while dads search for a job or a better job. Kyle’s case manager worked with him to secure an adjustment to his child support cases so he had a greater chance of catching up.

“It kind of gave me a path to just work and put my money towards rebuilding my life,” Kyle said.

Kyle says he also owes a lot of his success to his class facilitators. He pointed to Good Dads’ Director of Training & Education Rhonda Andersen’s late husband, Larry, saying Larry had a big impact on him. As a teacher and as someone who would give him rides to classes, Kyle said Larry “didn’t let me miss anything.”

“(He) let me talk to other people and made me realize I wasn’t alone,” he said.

Larry passed in March 2022 after a 15-month battle with cancer.

Kyle says he’s grateful to the Good Dads program for enabling him to meet other fathers who were going through similar struggles, whether it be being recently released from prison or a life path to recovery from addiction. While talking with other fathers, Kyle realized there are people who do care about what you’re going through.

“Drugs portray images of people that aren’t true,” Kyle said. “Talking to other dads that care and are trying to get their lives together allowed me to talk about my concerns, my fears, my problems. It was open.”

Kyle enjoyed outings with fellow dads and receiving clothes, hats and food from Good Dads during the holiday season. He said it’s important to see people grow within the program and surround yourself with people who genuinely care and want to see others do good in their lives.

Since returning home from prison around eight years ago, Kyle has maintained his sobriety. He graduated from the New Pathways program in 2022. He and his fiancée, Sierra, have been together for four years, and with a ten-year-old, a five-year-old, and a three-year-old, Kyle’s life is quite eventful.

“Every day when I get off work, I choose my kids and my family, and every night I put them to bed—I choose my kids and my family,” he said. “I just hope my kids have a good life; that they learn from me and get to have the goal of a better life than I had.”

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