Purchasing a personal device for a child may be simple, and teaching them how it functions, easy. In fact, it’s too easy—but something that is not simple or easy is the task of reversing a bad habit or psychological damages associated with their use of these super-handy and convenient devices.
That said, while one’s awareness of the bad habits and the symptoms associated with these devices are important, for the sake of time, it may be more beneficial to invest in the notion of establishing and maintaining a purpose-filled plan concerning a father and his children’s relationships with technology.
Fathers have various ideas about personal devices, but say his purpose for providing a device for his child is to monitor whereabouts or create a pathway for instant communication. Regardless of the intended purpose, the child needs to fully understand how this device makes the parent’s purpose possible, and why having these protocols and parameters are important. Once these ideas are established and understood, it is time to incorporate additional expectations concerning usage—and this conversation, in my opinion, should begin with a conversation about time.
I was in high school, standing in a line waiting to speak to my Agriculture teacher, when I heard the response of the teacher to my fellow classmate, “You only have to do two things in life: live until you die—everything else is optional.”
This phrase stuck with me and changed the way I measured everything in my life. I recognized time was an essential asset, and I had no choice but to trade it for everything I could think of doing, including thinking.
Explaining the concept of how much of one’s life is traded (converting time to money) to purchase a device, a data plan, as well as the time required to use it, is a tremendous opportunity to show a child his or her value, and why he, she and everyone else should be vigilant to guard and utilize, wisely, the precious unknown quantity of time allocated to them.
As a side note, this conversation can be related to other upcoming major events: organized sports, college, career paths, vehicle purchases, investing, relationships, hobbies, etc…
While a father is teaching his child(ren) about setting usage timers on their favorite apps like YouTube, TikTok and mobile games, he can find out important things like what they are interested in viewing or exploring. He can also share what he is interested in viewing, learning, doing, and why he has these interests. At the end of this conversation comes the most important part: He will explain his plan to verify, face-to-face, together, weekly, that dad and child are both following the established guidelines and parameters that he and they have agreed to abide by and within.
He ought to express that he will show them his history regarding his relationship with technology. Mutual accountability and mutually beneficial relationships are strongest, build trusting relationships, and sustain the test of time.
Sadly, today, fathers are (at an alarming and increasing rate) losing valuable interaction time with their children because boundaries concerning technology were not specifically addressed or intentionally demonstrated before or after a technological relationship was introduced.
However, the good news is that it is never too late to implement an action plan and to establish a well-conceived purpose for these technological relationships that a father and his children are highly likely to have in perpetuity.
