Remember the first time you saw your little one take their first wobbly steps? You felt a mix of pride and terror. As your child transitions from teenagehood to young adulthood, you’re about to experience a similar emotional roller coaster — but this time, it’s about them venturing into the world on their own.
The question you might be asking is, “Are they ready?”
While there’s no single answer, your child might be ready to take flight if you notice the following signs.
1. A Developed Sense of Responsibility
The first indicator that your child may be ready for more independence is their ability to take on responsibility. This goes beyond getting a summer job or completing school assignments. It includes their approach to managing their finances, maintaining commitments and taking care of their living space if they’re already out of the house.
If they live at home, look at how they handle chores and family obligations. Do they follow through on tasks without reminders? If they’re away at college or in an apartment, pay attention to how they manage their personal life.
Independence begins with small, everyday choices. When you see them being proactive and accountable, it’s a sign they’re developing habits that will help them thrive on their own. However, if your young adult is hesitant to take on grown-up responsibilities, check to see whether you’re the one enabling this behavior. If so, find ways to wean your support so they learn and develop accountability and commitment.
2. They Handle Money with Care
Financial literacy is another big part of adulthood. This is one of the most challenging transitions for many young adults, especially if you’re always willing and ready to offer any monetary assistance they ask for.
Does your child understand the basics of budgeting, saving and spending wisely? If they live independently, are they managing rent, utilities or groceries without constantly asking for financial help?
If they’re struggling with managing money, consider providing them with resources rather than funds. Encourage them to take up part-time work if they’re in college or help them create a budget. They are ready for the world if they can manage their finances and live within their means.
For instance, if your child is working, ask them to contribute to buying their car and use the opportunity to impart some valuable money tips. They should know that regardless of the model and make, the final decision is determined by budget. While it may be tempting to splurge their entire income on one purchase, help them understand why it’s recommended to allocate only 10% of their monthly income to purchase a vehicle.
Learn More: E273- Financial Advice for Dads of Young Adults | With Arvest Bank’s Shane Cowger
3. Proper Problem-Solving Skills
Life throws lemons at everyone, and how your child handles such moments tells a lot about their readiness to leave the nest.
Problem-solving is an integral skill in youth and adulthood. It ensures you have adequate critical thinking skills, patience, flexibility and resilience to cultivate meaningful interpersonal interactions.
Whether resolving a conflict with a friend, managing their school and social schedules, or handling a work problem, young people who can tackle and overcome issues amicably are probably ready to face the uncertainties of life.
When they come to you with a problem, encourage them to think through potential solutions before giving advice. Ask questions like, “What do you think you could do about that?” or “How do you feel you could approach it?” Guiding them to find their own answers builds their confidence and grit.
4. Observe Their Emotional Stability
A young adult ready to stand on their own will typically demonstrate a certain level of emotional stability. Well-developed emotional intelligence is crucial in adult life, as it helps people bounce back from setbacks and manage stress.
While it’s natural for you to want to step in when things look rocky, remember that adult children might not always voice their struggles. The signs are often subtle, like retreating to play video games for hours, sudden mood shifts or increased arguments. Watch for behaviors that indicate they’re facing issues but may not know how to communicate them.
Also, observe how they handle disappointment or failure. Do they cope with it in a balanced way, or does it lead to prolonged stress, anger or withdrawal? If you answered “no” and “yes,” it means the young adult still needs support in managing the emotional side of life. Offer a listening ear and gentle encouragement if they need it. Continue to check in with them regularly. Simple questions about how they’re doing can go a long way in making them feel supported and
understood. It shows them you’re approachable and attentive, creating a foundation for open conversations when they need advice or a listening ear.
If need be, consult a professional to determine what’s causing the emotional instability. They will recommend the most appropriate way to cultivate resilience and help them adapt to change and challenging times.
5. They Make Decisions Independently
Decision-making is part of everyday life, which is why your child learns to make choices independently. When faced with a dilemma, can they weigh their options and choose what feels right?
Even if they seek advice, they still want to lead with their own decisions. Encourage this by respecting their choices, even if you might not fully agree with them. Decision-making takes practice, and the more they do it, the better equipped they’ll be to handle the bigger challenges that life will bring.
When They’re Not Quite Ready: Building the Bridge to Independence
Sometimes, what looks like independence might be a mask concealing underlying struggles. For instance, if your child consistently avoids responsibility for their actions or expects regular financial bailouts, they might need more time and guidance.
One of the toughest challenges you’ll face as a dad is knowing when to step in and when to step back. Offer emotional support and encouragement, share your experiences and provide guidance when asked. However, resist the urge to solve all their problems or provide unlimited financial support. Let them learn from their mistakes and bear the consequences rather than making excuses for them.
Your role isn’t to push them off the cliff into the sea of adulthood. It’s to help them train their wings. Start by maintaining open communication with your child. When you create an environment of open dialogue, you’ll be more aware of any challenges they’re facing, and they’ll know they have a reliable support system. This doesn’t mean hovering — it means being available and approachable when they need you.
Start with small responsibilities and gradually increase them, allowing your child to experience the consequences while remaining available for guidance. Step back from daily decision-making but maintain your role as an adviser when needed.
Another thing you need to do is set healthy boundaries. Be clear about financial support limits, living arrangements and family responsibilities. These guidelines help you and your child understand expectations and limits to prevent misunderstandings that could strain your relationship.
