One of the biggest factors to success in a group is confidence in an individual. We explore this topic at length in Good Dads classes, and we know that fathers play a pivotal role in developing their children’s self-confidence.
In Fundamentals for Good Dads, our program for any dad, we examine the many ways fathers can develop self-confidence and resilience in their children by making them feel like a vital part of the team. From words of encouragement to including them in your tasks and decision making, dads can foster their child’s sense of self-esteem even from a very young age.
If you’re looking for ways to motivate your team through hard work and self-confidence, keep reading!
Utilize your child’s strengths and abilities
“A big part of a coach’s job is to maintain positive morale among players and as individuals.” -Fundamentals for Good Dads
If you’ve ever played or watched a team sport, you know that each player has their own unique set of strengths and weaknesses. Every person has a role to play on the team, but just because their roles are different doesn’t mean one team member is better than the other.
All of us have strengths and weaknesses. Maybe your child is gifted at singing, playing basketball or gardening. Dads can encourage their kiddos to pursue and improve these strengths while also recognizing areas of improvement.
While there are ways for us to boost our own self-confidence, it’s up to parents to begin that process in their youngsters. After all, they learn about their strengths, value and worth from their parents.
Self-confidence comes from opportunities to work hard
“Building self-confidence includes learning to work hard and struggle.” -Fundamentals for Good Dads
What makes you feel confident and self-assured? Maybe it’s a kind word or a hug. As a parent, be looking for ways to boost your child’s self-confidence that work for them based on their age and interests.
Letting your child know they’re loved is important, but as we argue in the Fundamentals for Good Dads program, kind words alone aren’t the only thing needed to boost confidence. Real confidence is gained through hard work and perseverance. What’s the best way for fathers to do this?
Believe it or not, chores are one of the best ways to build confidence at a young age for that very reason.
As adults, we don’t think much about dishes, laundry or mowing the lawn. But for a youngster, it’s a great opportunity to learn to do difficult or boring tasks. There may be struggle at first. There will be attractive distractions, e.g., video games or YouTube videos. It might be tempting for your children to give up. But as a dad, your job is to help build resilience—just like a coach builds helps his players build muscle so they can perform on the field or court.
Research shows that giving children opportunities to struggle, manage their time, and be accountable to others are some of the most effective ways to build self-confidence.
“OK, I’m hearing that parents should give their children chores. But how do I know what’s reasonable for my kid to be responsible for around the house?” We hear this all the time from dads in our workshops, and it’s a fair question. In the Fundamentals for Good Dads program, we argue that children are capable of more than you might imagine.
Toddlers can…
- Help unpack groceries
- Help clear the table
- Pick up toys
Preschoolers can…
- Make simple meals like peanut butter sandwiches and breakfast cereal
- Take clothes out of the dryer
- Get the mail
- Feed pets
- Help with yard work
Elementary schoolers can…
- Water plants
- Peel vegetables
- Hang clothes in the closet
- Groom pets
- Sweep and mop
Middle schoolers can…
- Mow the lawn with supervision
- Help run errands
- Do school assignments without reminders
- Handle small sums of money
- Pack their own suitcases
Looking for more age-appropriate chores for your youngster? Look no further than our “Chores for All Ages” section on the Good Dads website!
Empty praise vs. concrete encouragement
“Routinely reinforce accountability and responsibility with encouraging words.” -Fundamentals for Good Dads
When your child does something worth praising, it may be tempting to provide empty praise. However, this is insufficient for building confidence. Here are some examples of empty praise versus concrete encouragement
- You’re so smart! —> You worked really hard to finish your homework!
- Good job with your jacket! → You’re learning to zip up your jacket! You’re getting better each time.
- You’re such a good helper! —> You helped us pick up the blocks, so we finished faster!
In addition to providing concrete encouragement, dads can steer their kids in the right direction when it comes to their decision-making, character and habits. However, children don’t typically like to be endlessly lectured! Another benefit of household chores? Children are more likely to open up while doing something. Ask your child open-ended questions, and don’t be afraid to let silence do some of the work.
Chores also give your kids a chance to both fail and struggle in a controlled, low-risk environment. It’s the same reason why games are great for youngsters, and more importantly, letting them lose! Confidence comes with learning to struggle.
Final Words
“The best coaches use a combination of encouraging words and accountability to achieve the outcomes they hope to see.” –Fundamentals for Good Dads
It takes a lot to make an effective team. Having drive and perseverance, working hard and building self-confidence are crucial factors at play. Dads can provide specific, concrete encouragement while also striving for their youngsters to be better.
Believe it or not, even the smallest tasks can help boost confidence, and it starts at a young age. Don’t miss our newest webpage with age-appropriate chores for inspiration!
