On our last Good Dads Communicators blog, we talked about why it’s so important that dads prioritize their physical health with check-ups at a doctor’s office. When dads take care of their health, they’re taking care of their families as well. The message from the blog is clear: more dads are talking to their doctors about their long-term health. This is wonderful progress that should be recognized!
Unfortunately, just as there exists a stigma surrounding fathers seeking help for their physical health, there’s one for mental health, as well. And while eating fruits and veggies, exercising and regular check-ups can help a dad with his physical health, how can dads better focus on their mental health?
In 2023, the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse (NRFC) hosted a webinar on the mental health of fathers and closing the empathy gap for men. It featured advice on defining mental health and the importance of community efforts for fathers (like Good Dads!).
This week on the Good Dads Communicators blog, we’ll be discussing the barriers to men’s mental health, ways we can combat the stigma and other helpful resources, including our classic Men and Mental Health blog series. Remember: you are not alone!
Why is there a stigma around men’s mental health?
Why is there a stigma around men’s mental health?
The negative stigma around mental health for men is partly due to outdated or incorrect stereotypes. Many men have heard and internalized unhelpful stereotypes, such as:
- Men shouldn’t cry.
- People with mental illnesses are crazy, weak or out of control.
- Dads aren’t capable of being nurturers.
- Men should be the sole providers.
- Only women can experience depression.
Earlier this year, Good Dads hosted screening events for the documentary Gone Guys, a film that promotes improving academic and mental health outcomes for boys and young men.
The findings related to young men and boys in the movie correlate with what the NRFC refers to as the empathy gap, or the lack of compassion for the challenges these “gone guys” face. Because of the existing stereotypes, there’s doubt as to whether investing in men’s mental health is “worth it.” But if society isn’t investing in the well-being of men, these men won’t invest in it themselves, either.
At Good Dads, we believe that when we invest in fathers, including their mental health and well-being, families and communities thrive. We have a duty to continue combatting the stigma and stereotypes listed above and more so these negative cycles can be broken.
How can we combat the negative stereotypes?
When someone is told to “be a man,” there’s a narrow view of what that means. It could be a response to telling a boy to stop crying, to not ask for help, or to stop showing emotions. When combatting these stereotypes, we have to start at a young age.
In several of our previous blogs, we’ve discussed how fathers and father-figures serve as role models for children. Dads have an opportunity to teach their children that their emotions are valid, and that they’re not alone. Dads are capable of being nurturers just as much as mothers. When this happens, the lives of both fathers and children improve.
Fathers have a duty to teach their children emotional regulation. The NRCC defines this as the ability to describe, express and manage the physiological aspects of experiencing emotions. By teaching their children this valuable skill, they’ll have the confidence to learn, manage, and express their emotions in a healthy way.
Indeed, negative stigmas can put unneeded pressure on boys and men. If we teach them that their value is only limited to their perceived strength or ability to provide, rather than teaching emotional regulation and self-compassion, we’re putting them in a box. These men and boys should be valued for who they are people, not just by what they can do for others.
Let’s change how we view the phrase “be a man,” from a narrow-minded, stereotypical view of what a man should be, to a broader scope of the positive changes men are capable of in the lives of themselves and their families.
Why community is crucial for dads
Many Good Dads program participants report finding a support system in the form of fellow fathers, facilitators and family members while in class. Having a robust support system and making time for friendships in adulthood is necessary. After all, no man is an island.
The NRCC says, “community is a valuable tool for helping dads feel connected and valued.” When faced with mental health challenges, many men isolate, fearing they may be perceived as weak for seeking help. This isolation only serves to exacerbate these feelings.
Seeking professional support for our mental health is important, but having a friend to provide a listening ear and positive experiences allows men to feel less alone in their struggles. Many of our participants have reported feeling less alone when surrounded by fathers who are going through similar experiences.
Making friends as a father can be hard, but it’s not impossible! In this Men & Mental Health blog on how to make friends as a busy dad, it discusses the importance of having friends as well as how dads can make friends even through the chaos of parenthood.
Final Words
Being a good dad means taking care of both your physical and mental health. When we validate the experiences of men and continue combatting stereotypes, we’re able to provide them with the necessary resources to become more prepared for the ups and downs of life.
Looking for more mental health resources? Check out our other Men & Mental Health blogs on ways dads can help themselves and each other.
